Form four 5-oz hamburger patties. They should be 1” wider than your buns.

Press your thumb into the middle of each patty. This is done to prevent them from plumping up like meatballs during cooking.

Salt and pepper the outsides.

Preheat a skillet over medium heat. Add a small bit of oil and put in the patties.

Cook until done, only flipping once. How long that takes depends on how thick your patties are and how well done you want. The USDA recommends that ground beef be cooked to an internal temperature of 160 °F, resulting in a well-done burger with no pink in the center.

While they’re frying, prepare the monster face.

Cut the olives in half and stick the half with the “star” face up on top of a mini mozzarella ball. Secure them together using a toothpick.

Cut 8 slices from the tomatoes. They shouldn’t be puny and floppy, but not super thick, either. Place them on a paper towel and pat dry before placing on the burger.

Cut out triangles from the cheese slice to create the teeth. Don't cut away too much - you want the teeth to hang out from the bun.

Assemble the burgers

Once the burgers have cooled quite a bit (you don’t want to melt the cheese), place a piece of lettuce on the button bun half. Then add the burger patty, 2 tomato slices next to each other, pickle in the middle to create the tongue, cut up cheese slice, top bun piece.

Stick 2 assembled mozzarella/olive eyes on each bun with the help of the toothpick.

Serve!